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January 2016

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Stan: 2002 Blue Toyota Camry. Nice and simple. Also kinda lame, but you know what that's the best he could afford on his own.

Kyle: Sheila attempted to teach him how to drive but that resulted in a near crash and mild panic attack and Kyle being too afraid to get behind the wheel again. Stan pretty much drives him everywhere unless he's sick, in which case Kenny will (for a price). He's also a horrendously anxious backseat driver.

Cartman: MASSIVELY OBNOXIOUS GAS GUZZLING TRUCK THAT DESTROYS THE ENVIRONMENT JUST BY EXISTING.

Kenny: Shitty, beat-up pick-up truck he stole got from an impound lot. Someone was probably murdered in it. Fixed it up so it at least runs, but the heat is busted. It gets him places, that's all he cares about.

Butters: Yellow Volkswagen Beetle that he hardly ever gets to drive because he's always getting grounded and having his driving privileges taken away.

Craig: Busted up old piece of shit that smells funny and has cigarette burns and paint chipping off. No amount of pine tree air fresheners can save this car.

Clyde: Brown Jeep CJ7 Renegade. The only one with a practical snow-driving car.

Token: A purple Mercedes-Benz convertible. Everyone hates him for having the most expensive ride.

Tweek: Not allowed to operate vehicles of any kind. TOO MUCH PRESSURE. He usually gets a ride from Craig or Clyde.

Wendy: A silver 2010 Hyundai Genesis.

Bebe: Refuses to be seen with Clyde until he gets a new car. She also has a cute red moped and a red BMW convertible.
vigilanting: (something you can do with your finger)
* all incomes listed are base salaries before expenses

Marsh Family: $111,795
Randy, Geologist - $85,991
Sharon, Receptionist - $25,804

Broflovski Family: $123,464
Gerald, Attorney
Sheila, Homemaker/Unemployed

Cartman Family: $44,937
Liane, Minimum wage + prostitution

McCormick Family: $31,368
Carol, Minimum wage x2
Stuart, Unemployed

Stotch Family: $146,166
Stephen, Office Job - $50,773
Linda, Engineer - $95,393

Black Family: $282,755
Steve, Attorney (Denver) - $182,229
Linda, Chemist (Denver) - $100,526

Tucker Family: $77,432
Laura, Secretary - $43,982
Thomas, Used Car Salesman - $33,450

Tweak Family: $84,000
Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse Owners

Donovan Family: $68,820
Roger, Shoe Store Owner - $68,820
Betsy, Elementary School Teacher - $44,711

Valmer Family: $???
Ryan, Chief of Fire Department - $75,501
Sarah, ??? - ???

Testaburger Family: $???
Mrs. Testaburger, City Planner - $53,148
Mr. Testaburger, ??? - ???
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